Reading authentic examples of 11 Plus creative writing is one of the most powerful ways to help children improve. For over a decade, I’ve supported children sitting for Stage 2 grammar school exams like the Sutton Grammar and St. Olave’s tests, as well as competitive independent schools such as Eltham College, Dulwich College, Trinity, JAGS, and the City of London Schools. Across all of these, one thing remains constant: children often struggle not because they lack ideas, but because they don’t know how to turn those ideas into well-structured, compelling stories.

That’s where real examples from students, just like your child, come in. Whether your child is a confident writer or dreads the creative writing section, reading and analysing marked stories can unlock so much progress.

Why Real Writing Samples Work

One of the challenges of preparing for 11 Plus exams is that children often don’t know what’s expected of them. They’re told to “write creatively” or “use good description,” but without real examples, these instructions can be vague.

Over the years, I’ve seen how transformational it is when children review marked work. Suddenly, they can see what strong vocabulary looks like in context, spot when a paragraph lacks structure, and begin to understand how to build a character or show emotion through action.

Reading samples with feedback helps children:
• Learn how to move from simple ideas to engaging narratives
• Understand how grammar and punctuation support meaning
• Develop awareness of pacing, tone, and structure
• Build editing skills by seeing how changes improve clarity

This kind of modelling is far more effective than endless worksheets. It puts children in the examiner’s seat, helping them see writing from a new perspective.

11 Plus Writing Sample 1: The Stormy Night

What Is Written Well:
• The story begins mid-action, immediately capturing the reader’s attention
• Sensory details (sound, movement, emotion) draw the reader into the scene
• The character’s fear is shown through action, not just stated
• Short, well-placed sentences build urgency and tension

What Part Of the Writing Could Be Improved:
• Ellie’s character could be developed further – what is she thinking? What does she want?
• The setting is strong, but the story lacks a central conflict or resolution
• Sentence openings could be varied more to improve flow

Sample 2: Lost in the Market

“I turned around and Mum was gone. The street had been loud before, but now it roared like a sea. People rushed past me. My hands shook. I shouted her name, but the market swallowed my voice.”

What Is Written Went Well:
• Emotion is clear and believable – fear and panic come through well
• Use of similes and imagery enhances the scene
• Sentence variety is used to reflect the narrator’s increasing panic

What Part Of the Writing Could Be Improved:
• The piece could benefit from a stronger sense of time or pacing
• The ending is rushed – the story would be stronger with a clear resolution
• More descriptive detail about the market itself would ground the reader in the scene

Storytelling That Makes a Difference

I remember working with a student who had a brilliant imagination but struggled to stay on track. She would fill the page with dragons and castles, but lose the story’s direction halfway through. After going through examples like the ones above, and learning to annotate writing as if she were the examiner, she began to understand how structure helped shape her ideas. A few months later, she secured an offer from City of London School for Girls – and her creative writing paper was one of her best.

Another boy I taught found writing emotionally draining. He wanted to get it right, and that pressure often made him freeze. By reviewing feedback on other children’s work, he realised he didn’t have to be perfect – he had to be clear. That shift in mindset helped him produce a beautiful, thoughtful piece that earned him a place at Dulwich College.

This is the power of examples. They show children what’s possible, without overwhelming them.

How to Use These Samples at Home

These aren’t just stories to admire – they’re learning tools. Sit down with your child and go through each one carefully. Ask:

• What did the writer do well?
• What would you change or add?
• Can you write a different ending?
• Could you improve the opening sentence?

You can also challenge your child to mark the sample like a tutor would. Get your child to underline effective language, circle repeated words, and highlight areas that feel unclear. This builds their editing confidence and teaches them to approach their own work more critically.

To watch how this is done in real time, check out this feedback session where we analyse a real 11 Plus story together:
Watch: 11 Plus Creative Writing – Marking Real Student Work

Learning is best achieved by example. Seeing real 11 Plus writing samples – with helpful feedback – makes the exam’s requirements clearer and more achievable. It teaches your child that excellent writing isn’t about perfection, but about expressing ideas well, using language with purpose, and practising regularly.

These examples will give your child a starting point. They’ll help them think more deeply, plan more effectively, and slowly gain the confidence to write stories that are meaningful, well-structured, and entirely their own.