Figurative language can completely transform a child’s writing – but only when it’s used well. I’ve marked thousands of 11 Plus stories over the years, and one of the biggest things that separates a middle-band script from a top-band one is the writer’s ability to bring their description to life with similes, metaphors and personification.
I once worked with a boy in Year 5 who had memorised a long list of ‘fancy’ similes. He’d sprinkle them through every story – even if they didn’t make sense. One of his sentences described a peaceful garden as “as loud as a thunderstorm.” When I asked why, he said, “Because I thought the simile would get me more marks.”
That’s when I realised how many children are taught what figurative language is – but not how to use it.
This guide is here to fix that.
What Is Figurative Language?
Figurative language includes devices that make writing more vivid, emotional and engaging. The three most important for 11 Plus creative writing are:
Similes
Compare one thing to another using “like” or “as.”
Examples:
- Her hands were as cold as ice.
- He moved through the corridor like a shadow.
Metaphors
Say something is something else to create a strong image or emotion.
Examples:
- The playground was a battlefield.
- Fear gripped her chest like a vice.
Personification
Give human qualities to non-human objects or ideas.
Examples:
- The wind whispered through the trees.
- The clock glared down at him from the wall.
Why Do Examiners Care About Figurative Language?
Because it shows:
- Creativity
- Emotional depth
- Control over language
- An ability to paint pictures with words
But here’s the thing: using too much figurative language – or using it badly – can hurt your child’s writing.
So let’s talk about how to use it properly.
How to Teach Your Child to Use Similes Effectively
- Start with what they already know. Ask them to describe:
- A cold day
- A loud room
- A nervous moment
Then challenge them to turn their description into a simile.
Example:
- Original: “I was nervous.”
- Improved: “My stomach twisted like a washing machine.”
- Avoid clichés. Similes like “as brave as a lion” or “as fast as lightning” won’t impress examiners.
Encourage originality:
- “As quiet as a mouse” → “As quiet as footsteps on carpet”
- “As hot as fire” → “As hot as a radiator turned up too high”
How to Use Metaphors with Confidence
Metaphors are trickier but powerful. Encourage your child to think of comparisons based on:
- Emotions (e.g. “Anger bubbled like lava”)
- Settings (e.g. “The classroom was a zoo”)
- Character reactions (e.g. “His heart was a drumbeat in his chest”)
Start small – try one metaphor per paragraph. That’s more than enough to impress.
Bring Scenes to Life with Personification
This is one of my favourite techniques to teach, especially to reluctant writers – because it makes writing feel fun.
Start with inanimate objects:
- “The rain tapped on the window.”
- “The door creaked open slowly, as if scared.”
Then move into more emotional scenes:
- “The shadows danced across the floor.”
- “The silence screamed louder than any sound.”
When to Use Figurative Language (And When Not To)
✔ Use it:
- In the opening paragraph to create mood
- During key moments to show emotion
- In descriptive passages to slow down the pace
✘ Don’t use it:
- In dialogue (unless the character is poetic!)
- In action scenes where clarity matters
- Just for the sake of it
Every device should have a purpose. That’s what examiners are looking for.
Want to Practice This at Home?
The best way to improve is through regular short bursts of practice. Try:
- Describing a setting using one simile, one metaphor, and one personification
- Reading a story opening and rewriting it using figurative language
- Using pictures as prompts and creating 3 strong descriptive sentences per image
This is exactly what we focus on in the Descriptive Writing Mini Course. Your child will learn how to use each device with confidence and control – not just throw in fancy phrases.
Your Next Step
Figurative language is one of the fastest ways to make your child’s writing stand out. But it needs to be taught in the right way – with clarity, purpose and examples.
Inside the Descriptive Writing Mini Course, we walk through each device, show exactly how to use them, and build your child’s confidence through focused tasks.
Start the course today and help your child master the language that examiners love to see.
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